So here we are inching towards the end of the year. I find myself struggling to get out of bed and stay in school for a full day and go to bed on time. It's not that I don't want to graduate... I do. I really really do. It is the reason I feel so lazy and it's what keeps me from doing my best. All I really have to do is show up and even that is a difficult task. I am definitely ready to just take my finals and be done with high school forever. We call this Senioritis. It is also known as senior syndrome.
The time to focus is now. I need to forget about all the other things and just concentrate on doing the things that I need to get done. I'm lecturing myself every day but it doesn't seem to help. Nobody can really even help me. I'm hoping my desperate attempts at keep a passing grade isn't stumped by my complete inability to hold onto my literary responsibilities. I believe that there is nothing left for me to learn in high school. I believe that there is nothing left for me here. It is time to move on with my life and learn bigger and better things and travel and explore and vacation and work. I call these last two weeks not the end of my senior days but the start of my life.
I wish I had somebody that could relate to my problem. Somebody that actually has responsibilities i mean. There are a lot of people that get lazy senior year it's almost an inevitability. However, the ones i find that slack off a little bit take the bare minimum classes and don't have a job. Me, on the other hand, have difficult classes with a job and a life and sometimes it's hard to fit schoolwork into my schedule. Or maybe I just need to prioritize a little better. Either way, slacking off for me takes a bigger toll than some other people.
I hope to look back on this blog and realize my mindless struggle was just a minor lapse as I was ready to move on. Hopefully I will not look back on this moment and notice my life went on a downward spiral starting with my deadly condition. It is quite contagious and hard to battle. I have a tough immune system and immense power of will. In a few years when I'm engineering computers and working for big companies, perhaps I will ahve continued this blog the whole way. It is a good way to share my progress with what little of the population that cares.
And no. I don't need ADD/ADHD medicine. And either does anyone's kids. Just a personal opinion but I prefer proper parenting over medication.
For starters, I hope you do keep the blog up, although I know how hard it is to keep something like this going when you actually have a career and a life! Senioritis is deadly for me at this time of year, but it happens, and you seem to be ready for a new challenge, so I am sure you will not go into some downward spiral. High school still doesn't challenge everyone, or give students much of a reason to care, but once you get out of here, you'll thrive!
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